Monday, December 10, 2012

Everybody loves a clown…but nobody wants to take a clown home.

Yesterday a new client of mines called in and was telling me how he’s having a big problem with women. He was very frustrated; he said he has no problems approaching women; his problem happened to be getting them to give him the number. He told me he did not understand because from what he can tell, they seemed to be impressed with all the tricks, jokes and personality tests that he ran by them, and they appeared to be very interested in what he had to offer from a personality stand point. “They laugh and twirl their hair and all of the indicators that they are interested, but when I go for the number they flake” he said. I asked him why he felt he had to do all these personality test and comedic jokes to be appealing. He told me that he’d read a couple of books that stated that by doing these things, and sometimes physically wearing very interesting pieces of accessories relays a man of value and interest.  Curious, I asked him the title of the book and had a look at the information for myself. Sure enough in print this was exactly what this information was giving to men who were willing to do almost anything to improve their dating life. I also noticed this craze on YouTube from a lot of so called PUA’s but thought nothing of it.  Now there could be other issues as to the reason he’s not securing numbers but this method he’s using is definitely one of biggest reasons why.
Now look guys, I’m not going to totally bash this type of information, and I’m not going to get very detailed here because the scope of this issue is beyond this post. But I will say this; when a woman feels that a man is going above and beyond himself, and who he is to impress her, impressed is the last thing she will be. When they sense you are doing this you become nothing more than a form of entertainment to them. So yeah, you may get them to stick around for a bit to hear what your personality tests reveals, they may be amazed by your magic tricks, they might even like the jokes you made up to get them to laugh. But at the end of the day you are the clown, and nobody wants to take a clown home.  

I’ve stated this before, and I’ll say it again BE YOU, BE THE BEST OF YOU! Don’t try and be a magician if you are not one; don’t try to be a tarot card reader if you are not. Wear that shirt because it looks good on you, not because it looks good to her. If you make a joke, do it because you think it’s funny and don’t sweat it if she doesn’t, tell her it’s too bad she doesn’t have a sense of humor and continue the conversation. Don’t try to be the PUA’s you’ve heard and read about. Now I know some guys are going to say, “well the guys on YouTube do crazy, even zany things to get girls phone numbers all the time and succeed. This is very true, but what they don’t reveal to you is how most, if not all of those women they approach flake or give wrong numbers. They don’t show you the huge number of women who turn them down. What would be the point of that? That’s not helping the marketing of the product. Those methods do not yield results past general conversation and the guy clowning around.
A lot of time we run into having problems with getting women interested and willing because we have issues within ourselves, which stops us from bringing out the best of us, and being ok with who we are. Don’t try and patch this issue up with trying to be something you’re not guys, come on. Now quit clowning around out there in field and show these women who you really are, THE BEST OF WHO YOU ARE.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Just Some Basics On Approach

So yeah guys, the last blog I just had to do it…I had to let you guys know how much you limit yourselves by just standing around waiting for some miracle to fall in your lap. But this time around I’m going to give you guys some insight on exactly how to go about approaching the women you want and desire.  

Now before I move forward with this blog, or any other blog I want you guys to know that what I preach is exactly what I practice. I have used these methods and teachings myself and shared them with my students as well. This is the basics for approaching women who are usually by themselves which is what I would suggest beginners to do. With that said let’s go in!!

Tip #1: It Starts With You!

Quit sitting around judging yourself so much. As long as you know that you are bringing the best of you to the table that’s all that counts man plain and simple. Are you being the best that you can be? If so you can’t be anymore then you are right? In life we want the best of the best so if you are at your best then that’s exactly what you are, THE BEST. 

Tip #2: Understand That This Is What She Wants

This is something I’m sure you do know, women get approached by men in the club and bar scene ALLLL the time. Guys are under the influence, all of their social conditioning is out the door, so it’s game on for them. On the other hand it’s very basic to women, and places men in a very basic category, usually. Now what you probably did not know is these same men become vegetables in the day time, and in turn those same women almost NEVER get approached at all! Women don’t expect it, but they damn sure want a man to approach them outside of the bar scene because it’s spontaneous, unpredictable, different, and shows a very bold and confident move on your part. The initial approach alone gets you respect from her and the guys sitting around wishing they had the balls to do it.

Tip#3: Go For It!!

You already know what this is because we’ve all violated this one before. Sitting across the room, plotting the approach, checking to see if she’s alone putting all these factors in your head like she looks busy, she looks stuck up or she probably has a boy friend. This is you talking yourself out of fear of rejection. You’re going to have the worse approaches or none at all when you just don’t go for it and approach her. Use some common sense of course, don’t approach her when she’s paying the cashier or getting money out of the ATM. 

Tip #4: Don’t Make It a Numbers Game

I remember when I first started approaching women. I would go home, and at the end of the day count the numbers I’d acquired. After I counted them I would say things like “ok today I got 5 so tomorrow I’m going for ten”. I usually met my goal but I had a shit load flakes. I realized I got too caught up in trying to get numbers instead trying to find value and in turn relay value. Don’t make this a numbers game. When you see a woman just have the intention of wanting to see what she’s about and in turn, if she’s good, you’ll give her the opportunity to see what an amazing guy you are.  

Tip #5: Always Let Her Know Who You Are and What Your Intentions Are

You know this is a big one because there are books that tell you to use openers and different things like that but the truth is if you are not genuine about your approaches you will always have an uphill battle, always. I found that being direct is simply being honest with you. If you see a woman who has a very nice ass go over and let her know that but don’t say it like the guys in the bar, put a twist on it. You can say something like listen I noticed you across the street and I must say you have the most attractive figure I’ve seen so far today,  I had to meet you to see if there was more then meets the eye.  If you see that she’s obviously attractive but her wardrobe was what stood out first then tell her that, but in a clever confident way. Don’t see a women and say “gee she’s looking beautiful today I think I’ll go open her up with the should I name my dog opener”, NO! If you do these things then it’s going to be difficult to have a natural conversation because you’re not being honest with yourself. This rule right here is what gives a lot of the BAD BOYS the edge. Because they usually let women know straight up what they think. Always let a woman know who you are and what your intentions are. If she stays, she’s yours, if she don’t then she wasn’t yours to begin with and you can’t miss something you never had. And if you’re consistent in this you’ll realize that for every woman that gets out on you, there will be one bumping into her on the way in for sure!

Tip #6: Bring It Down a Bit

If she’s looking hostile address it, if she’s acting nervous address it, bring these things to the fore front. A lot of times when we are put in a different type of situations that’s not common to us we tend to act in ways in which we normally would not. If necessary, I’ll say something like “look I know this must be strange, to have a confident guy come up and actually want to see what type of woman you are aside from your looks but trust me this is a good thing, my name is Dale by the way.  

Tip #7: Make Her Invest and Don’t Be Impressed

You know they say nobody wants the milk when the cow is free and usually that goes from that to not wanting the cow at all. Don’t turn around and be the guys asking all the questions or answering them, make her to work for your approval. If you master this art, having things to talk about becomes as easy as tying your shoes. Ask open ended questions and make statements. And don’t be impressed, relate to her but don’t act impressed 85% of the time. They have enough men praising them for everything they do down to them clipping their toe nails.

Tip #8: Don’t Beat the Dead Horse

Ok you’ve stopped her in her tracks; she’s impressed by your bold approach. Now you got her talking and laughing, and she’s even asking you questions; it’s getting very interesting and what do you do…continue to hang there until she ends the conversation or there’s just that acquired silence. DONT LET THIS HAPPEN!! Always be the one to end the conversation and always end it on a high note. If you know what it’s like to watch a good show until the end only to be given the “to be continued” black screen then you can understand what the value of this tip is. 

Tip #9: Challenge Her!

 These kinds of ties into tip #7, don’t be like all the other guys, she’s over that. Challenge her; if she says she’s a model ask her what else she does. If she says she’s a photographer ask her what’s her website, or don’t ask her any these at all I’m just letting you know you have to challenge her some type of way. Women like a man who’s a challenge, and who challenges. If you are not about any of the two your considered basic to her. She has enough guys on POF doing the ass kissing job.

Well there you have it guys, just some basic tips to approaching women. I hope that these tips will come in handy. Of course you will never know until you get out there and try them!! Get out there and make it happen guys. Subscribe and stay tuned to more useful tips from the SW!TCH up blog.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Quit Playing The Lotto With Your Dating Life, MAN UP!!

Many will play,  less then few will win. Is that how you want your dating life to be?

Hello my fellow audience thanks for checking my blog out. Feel free to leave your feedback below as I encourage different perspectives and opinions on all my subjects I post for the SW!TCH up dating blog. So subscribe and, state your opinion.

Yesterday I was looking at some dating statistics in different cities on the famous and came across a thread that stated “FOR WOMEN WHO REFUSE TO APPROACH MEN” so I clicked on into the conversation. Inside there was a not so attractive woman who was boosting about how she approached a guy in the bar and brought him drinks and apparently had a very fruitful night with the guy. Immediately after she was done with bragging about her rather bold approach compared to most women, men began to flood into the post. A lot of them began to speak very highly of her saying how awesome she was and how they wish women where like that where they reside. Their reasons for this want for a role change (a large portion of them) happen to be because they fear rejection, they cant figure out how to break the ice, and the lack of material to sustain a constructive and interesting conversation to name a few. So because of this these men where very firm on saying that they would rather the woman approach them because of their short comings within themselves, or what the dating world calls limiting beliefs. I quickly chimed in on the conversation and expressed to these men that if they are expecting a woman to pick up the slack where they fall short they are doing nothing more then playing the lotto with their dating life plain and simple.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you guys who feel your going to come across and keep, or consistently have women of substance, beauty, and drive from sitting on death row (sitting there waiting for a miracle to happen) because you can’t man up and face your fears and address these limiting beliefs your simply playing the power ball with your dating life. It’s just not how it works. And I say the lotto because some people are going to come along and say “that’s not totally true I met my girlfriend and she approached me”. Well that’s great but just like the lotto the ratio of that happening compared to it not present a very large ratio.  And when I say this I’m speaking of it being highly unlikely that a woman of value is going to approach you and set the stage for things.

A lot of things have changed within the world we live in especially with women. Women now have equal employment, they quite often make more money, and with online dating they have more options to choose from then Sonics drink combination deal. With that said though, one thing that has not changed is they want for a CONFIDENT man. Women, especially the ones that I mentioned just above here look to have a confident man and the first sign of a confident man is his ability to approach a woman, make his presence known and let her know what his intentions are. This by facing these limiting beliefs that plague so many men instead of playing it safe and “WAIT “ for an opportunity to appear, that’s a beta mindset, beta males sit around hoping one dale things will go their way instead of having it their way.

Here’s the deal, quality women view things in this aspect. If you, the man can’t confidently approach her, or deal with a little rejection how do you expect to handle the days when it’s one of those days and she wants to be alone? How are you going make her feel secure? How in the hell are you going to tell her what the plan is, or have those stimulating mind sex conversations before the physical action? These are things women are seeking to find in a man first and foremost. And if you think that those things aren’t going to matter once she gets to know you, you are wrong, like most people who missed the Powerball numbers.

I can’t stress this enough to men out there, if you want to have a more fulfilling dating life you are going to have to go out there and pursue it. That’s the way it works guys, you can’t sit around playing the numbers game in hopes an attractive woman is going to fall in your lap and buy you drinks. Alpha males don’t wait for it to happen they make it happen.  So get out there and MAN UP!!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

She wants a bad boy!! But it's not what you think...

Hey guys thanks for taking the time out to check out the blog site, remeber, this blog is not about me but us so feel free to express your thoughts below. This is the first entry to the blog and I thought I'd address a very misuderstood, disgusting set of words guys hear from some of the most attractive women from time to time and those word are "I LIKE BAD BOYS".

A new client of mines (I'll call him Jim) came in today expressing to me that he indeed wanted to be a more productive guy in the dating scene but stated to me in these exact words "I want to be better with women but most of them are so stupid! They seem to always claim they want a bad boy and I am not a bad boy and refuse to be a dead beat thug who goes to jail and hangs with my posse and leave my babies without fathers!!". This is a very common misunderstanding that guys with beta male mentality have in the dating world. They perceive the bad boy that women speak of to typically be what Jim spoke of above and for a small percantage of them that may be so and I'm talking in the single digits maybe 3%.  The truth is the other 97% of women who say they like bad boys or maybe say they like a guy with a bad boy side have a totally different perception about what a bad boy is vs. what my client Jim has. 

First off let me tell you guys a very valuble secret about women (if you dont know it already). WHAT WOMEN SAY IS NOT TOTALLY WHAT THEY MEAN AND THEY USUALLY NEVER WILL WHEN THEY SPEAK ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT FROM MEN. If you have a problem with that my friend your going to be failing from the start. 

Now when a women says that she wants a bad boy she doesn't technically mean she wants a dead beat guy, get that out of your head its the only way you will fully understand the dynamics of what shes saying in order to put you sir, ahead of the pack. Usually when a woman says she wants a bad boy she typically is relaying to a guy she wants some if not all of these things:  

1) She wants a guy who does'nt give a fuck about how he's perceived by other people and is ok with being him. In other words she wants a guy who's CONFIDENT.

2) She wants a guy who has adventure to him and can show her excitment and is not just some boring square who wants to just hang out at home and watch movies all the time. 

3) She wants a guy who's not afraid to show his sexual intrest in her with no regret.

4) She wants a guy who is not submissive and is not about to bow down and kiss her ass just to keep her from being upset all the time.

5) She wants a guy who will call her out on her bullshit with no guilt.

6) She wants a guy who can care at one moment and not give a shit the next some might call this effectively pushing and pulling.

Quite often in the race to get that very attractive woman alot of good men fall short (by large) due to being the total opposite of almost all those charecteristics. The reason we see women with men who actually are those dead beat guys is because they actually possess these charecteristics, and they express them effortlessly and because it's most commonly found in them, women define that as bad boy or the bad boy side.  

Now I know alot of guys, like Jim possess these attributes but are affraid to express them because she might think this or she might think that, or she might leave. Well let me tell you something those thoughts that your having is what is called BETA MALE MENTALITY and women pick up on that shit believe it or not. And you know something else continuing to have that way of thinking is what is going to keep you in the what I call the MR.GOODJOY role while shes hanging out and more then likely fucking dead beat. Thats right shes going to pass up the smart, intelligent, ambitous, and everything else guy you are in exchange for the douche. Either that or shes not going to deal with men at all, you lose both ways.

So from now on when a girl says "I want a bad boy or I want a man with a bad boy side" don't cringe just understand that she just wants a real man, an ALPHA MALE, and not MR.GOODJOY.